Tag Archives: matthew

Living With Passion from Holy Rage

I was feeling upset and, honestly, feed-up this morning, so I wrote the previous post.  After I was done, it was time to leave for class.  Once I had parked my car, I jumped on the shuttle to find that one of my shuttle-bus-driver buddies, Mr. Gerald, was driving.  As soon as I stepped up the stairs of the shuttle, he greeted me with his usual, “Hey there, Miss Sarah!”  Without even thinking about it, I replied, “Mr. Gerry!  It’s so good to see you!”  as if I hadn’t have even been steaming like an angry teapot just minutes earlier.  In my head, I said, “I still have a holy rage within me! So, grrrr……”  This thought lasted about as long as it took me to say “grrr” because then, I realized just how silly I was being.

There is no doubt in my mind that God gave me that rage.  After all, think about Jesus when he cleared out the temple in John 2: 13-17.  God revealed to me the way that sin has defiled His creation–what is supposed to be His temple–and so I felt rage against sin.

There’s a difference, though, between the rage Jesus had when He was cleansing the temple and the rage that I felt this morning: Jesus’ rage had the purpose of cleansing the temple.  My rage, though, only made my face fluster.  I wasn’t using that Holy rage to cleanse a temple.  Instead, I was obscuring my very own temple; the body and soul that God created me to be (1 Corinthians 6:19-20.)

God gives us all a Holy Rage.  The rage itself is good and necessary–it is a sign that we are truly convicted about the depravity of sin–but it is how we use that rage that matters.

This morning, I learned another valuable lesson.  I learned that having a Holy Rage inside of you does not mean being hateful of something else.  Instead, having a Holy Rage should make you passionate.  First: passionate to see your own sinful nature and need for Jesus to cleanse you as His temple.  Second: passionate and filled with a sense of urgency to glorify God by being light to the world (Matthew 5:14).

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Workers in a harvest field

For the past three years, I’ve had a desire to do mission work in a Latin American country.  Since November, I became convicted that He was calling me to such work through reading my Bible and praying.  I prayed that He would open the way if it was His will, and He responded by providing with the opportunity for me to teach at a school for missionaries’ children in Pucallpa, Peru for the coming year, maybe more.  The picture above is of a classroom in the school where I would be teaching.

Even after writing that paragraph, I ask myself, “So, why aren’t you going to Peru next year?”  Honestly, I’m not sure that I can fully explain it, but I realized that I had taken my current season for granted.  I felt as though I wasn’t helping as many people here  as I could in Peru.  Worries about money,whether to stay in a sorority, and wanting to focus on school less to focus on God made going to Peru seem like the greener grass on the other side.

That day that I decided to not drop out of school to work and raise money for my missions, that day that I decided to not go to Peru, that day…….that’s when I made the choice to let go of my will and trust that God had put me exactly where I was at the moment.  That was the day that I realized that I was already a missionary–a sharer of the Gospel in every place I went, a lover of His children all around me, a follower of His will no matter what it meant.

We are all missionaries, each and every single one of us.  God has put us each where we are and has given us each talents to use.  While I hope that He will take me to Peru one day, I’ve learned that I simply have to wait peacefully and trust that His willwill be done.  We just have to open our eyes to harvest field that we are in–whether it’s a classroom, Starbucks, the office, church, or even a fraternity party.  Once we ask the Lord to send us out into these harvest fields, I think we’ll be surprised by the blessings we gather.

-References to Matthew 9:35-38